How to Tell Your Mom You Want Blueberries When You’re Non-Verbal
By Nate the Great
1) Stalk Mom when she’s in the kitchen.
2) When she opens the refrigerator door, run really really fast and wedge yourself in between the fridge and the door. Distally point to the blueberry muffin, which is on the bottom shelf in a baggie.
3) Since you requested the muffin, Mom will give it to you. And, since it’s dinner time, she’ll only give you a little bit. Follow her to the counter as she cuts off a hunk of muffin and makes nice, neat muffin sticks for you.
4) When Mom puts the plate on your mini table, sit down. Dig out and eat all of the blueberries.
5) Thirty seconds later, request more blueberry muffin. Mom will see that you still have muffin on your plate. She will pick you up and show you that there’s no need for more muffin because you already have some. That’s when she’ll notice what’s missing: the blueberries.
6) Follow Mom into the kitchen as she gets you a bowl of blueberries. Enjoy!
(Deep bow from the waist.)